Thursday, December 27, 2007

Avengers Assemble!

I find this list humbling and downright frightening:

Humbling, because clearly it proves, almost without question, the existence of an all-powerful and omniscient God.

How so, you ask?

Because, as I see it, there is no possible way that natural selection alone could have allowed for the sheer number of ass-masters and douche-bags out there to have survived without the help of Divine intervention. There's just no way.

See, a person is defined by their enemies. Well, look good and hard, boys and girls. Here they are. Our enemies. You think supervillains are nasty? Ha! The Green Goblin? Easy pickings. The Joker? He's a pussy. No, we've got Cheney and Bush, Chavez and Harper, and all sorts of drooling monstrosities in the wings. They fuck the Juggernaut in the ass for breakfast and piss on Doctor Doom's armour just for kicks. They made Galactus cry.

The solution is simple: we've all got to become superheroes.

It's what God wants.